Distance
Ok, I’m feeling kind of philosophical today. Enter Andy’s Philosophy Corner with a piece on Distance.
One of the few scenes I remember very clearly from watching Sesame Street is of a monster describing near and far. He would wander into the distance and shout “far” then rush toward the camera and shout “near”; all with music and such in the same vein as the old school Mahna mahna(*). This is the idea of “going far away”, “having a long way to travel” or “living near your loved ones”. Travel seems to be all about this kind of distance.
There is also mental distance. Daydreaming is described as being far-away in your mind. The mind wandering far from the present to dwell on something else. “Are you close with your family?” someone might ask. They do not mean do you live near them, though this may be part of it. The question is more about how much of a connection do you have with them.
Distance is about connection (or lack there of)
The idea of distance seems to be one of connection. Two places that are physically far apart do not have as much geographic connection. Describing a friend as not being a very close friend implies a lack of connection, not necessarily a physical separation. I am very close to my girlfriend even though there is are many miles between us. We are connected.
Expats and travelers know this concept of distance quite well. As we discussed in comments on several recent posts (Dictionary Time and Going Home) an expat is someone that is physically far from their native land but with a very strong connection to it still. So expats and travelers can only be near a few places physically, but will be connected to people and places mentally that are very far away on a map. This seems to be a hallmark of those sorts of people.
Traveling is about bridging distances, both physical and emotional. To travel to the ends of the earth can sometimes be far easier then bridging the emotional gap to a stranger. Staying in a place as an expat adds the extra fun of bridging the physical distances to back home to maintain the important friendships there.
Distance brings Perspective
Being far away from something gives you a different perspective on it. Think walking backwards to get the top of the cathedral into the shot. (Cologne Cathedral is my nemesis at this.) Or looking down at a town from the top of a tower.
When we are too close to something, we lose a feel of the big picture. And for the far sighted among us (namely me) being too close even drops out details. When I am too close to something, I see just a blurry mess. So distance can be useful as well.
Just as this works in the physical realm, so too in the mental realm. To distance yourself from something means getting out of a situation and often means looking back at it to get a different perspective. I left my homeland and in doing so gained a great amount of perspective on my life. Travel, even a week or so, can do this for life as well. This is an important part of travel to gain the perspective to see something clear and then make better informed decisions.
How simplistic Sesame Street has put the concept of distance. Is distance all in our heads anyway? Or is it as simple as the humble fuzzy monsters would have us believe?
*Ok, if you don’t know what Mahna Mahna is.. please watch this YouTube video.
January 21, 2011 @ 2:44 am
Distance is relative indeed. It seems like the distance between me and my friends/family feels different for me and them. I left them. I know where they are, I know what they are usually doing, I can picture them, I can understand them, therefore I feel “close”. But I feel the distance is big for them (with a few exception), because they don’t really follow what I’m doing, they don’t understand reasons behind what we are doing, and so on. A few of my best friends can’t really feel me when I’m away, even though as soon as we meet in person, nothing has changed, we are right away really close again. Perspective…
January 23, 2011 @ 5:36 pm
That is an interesting perspective Dina. That the idea of distance can be different from either side of the relationship. They all the distance to grow while you keep it close. Thanks for that perspective.
December 17, 2010 @ 4:31 pm
Well, I think in the (ugh, I hate to say it) digital age, that distance seems like a lot smaller problem than in the past. Yeah, I’m far away from home, but it’s easier for me to stay connected, so while I”m physically far away, I can still keep track of most of the goings-on of my friends and family members.
Yay for Sesame Street!
December 21, 2010 @ 9:11 pm
Thanks for the yay. I realized I so could have linked in the Near Far video as I found it really easily. Oh well.
Yes, the physical distance thing is so much easier to deal with the way the internet connects us. It just makes the emotional distance more interesting a concept.
December 17, 2010 @ 3:00 pm
Oh, this is true – being physically far from something gives you perspective on it. And how! I’m half a world away from home and although I’d always planned to go back, now I realize that the home I left is the most powerful home I have – really the only home. I loved it while I was there and now that I’m gone my love has increased. This amazes me. I never thought I’d feel this pull. But I feel the way I feel. I never would have appreciated the area of the world I’m from and the people who are in it if I hadn’t traveled so far away and stayed for so long. This really has given me an entirely new perspective.
December 17, 2010 @ 4:22 pm
Wow that is an amazing story. I have always felt the pull to being away from the home I grew up in. Now I feel the pull to stay where I am. Not as strongly as what you talk about, but I get the sensation.
Yay, for new perspectives. Especially when they give you the ability to be happier.
December 16, 2010 @ 4:01 pm
Great post! I know I have had so many life-changing moments while traveling, when I am completely out of my normal environment and have distance on my daily life. It’s like a rebooting of the system.
December 17, 2010 @ 4:17 pm
Yup.. Ctrl alt travel. 🙂
December 16, 2010 @ 8:37 am
I appreciate this thought provoking post. I have a greater appreciation of most of my travel experiences long after I left a place. Sometimes, I take what I have right in front of me for granted. The idea of distance is something we all wrestle with. It’s why we have music like “Don’t Know What You Got Til It’s Gone” (my all time favorite song by one of my favorite bands – Cinderella).
Honestly, it absolutely kills me if I can’t see my family every day. The closeness we have means that much to me. Meanwhile, I am somewhat disconnected emotionally from the family that raised me. Yes, I talk to them every week but physical distance has nothing to do with it. What’s important is that no matter our distance, we see clearly, with the right perspective, how much the people in our lives matter.
December 17, 2010 @ 4:17 pm
A touching comment, thanks Jeremy.
That idea of being too close to something to see the full picture is one thing, but that being too close obscures details too and makes you take things for granted is another. I don’t even think holding a middle ground helps. Got to look at things from multiple perspectives.
I would love to see my best friends and girlfriend everyday. I used to almost do that in high school, but now not so much. It will change though. Physical distance doesn’t affect that emotional connection. For good or bad.
December 16, 2010 @ 3:57 am
I love your deep thoughts posts. My closest friends all live at least 2000 miles away, and as hard as it is sometimes that they live so far away, they’re still extremely important to me. Not being able to see the people you love every day is rough, the distance is tricky, but sometimes it’s really worth it.
December 17, 2010 @ 4:13 pm
Thanks for the comment. Good to know that my philosophical mutterings help.